୭ seeking

a poem

walking into the dark forest, 
searching in despair
for something that would 
warm my heart
instead of breaking it,
like a clumsy child would crack 
its precious porcelain doll’s head
— oh, i didn’t mean to do that !

in the midst of pitch blackness
a light shone through 
the rough dry branches,
even the leaves 
were too astonished,
so much, that
neither the cold nor the breeze 
could make them tremble

oh heavens!
so far, high above me, 
my eyes glistened as our gaze met
for i felt desire,
greater than ever,
for something that would
be a miracle to reach

only if i were tall enough, 
only if, by tipping on my toes 
like a disciplined ballerina,
i could grasp it in my dry palm,
i had never before had the chance
to hold such beauty at all

yet i cannot.. my calves are in pain
my bruised knees almost snapped,
regardless, i must find a way
before i lose myself amongst 
the laughter of trees
mocking me 

(i mustn’t fall on the ground and weep,
but fight for this new sparkly dream)

these trees 
who have seen it all, 
the so called wise beings 
who just stood there,
perhaps aching 
to become more,
perhaps being content 
with how things were

i too, wish i were a tree. 
a tree in the garden 
of a kind family's home. 
children playing around me 
joyfully, 
or even providing safety 
from the warm sun 
burning their soft pale skin.

yet all i can do
is climb high enough 
just enough to reach!
merely to face the truth:
none of it was real

---

2025.04.22. - mirella ౨ৎ

this one is from my drafts, i hope you enjoyed :)