untitled :p

i wish my mind was free of thoughts, free of him

And even as i walked under the moon in the quiet night of june,
you wandered in my thoughts
again, never leaving —
though i wish you would.

Funny! Since the first time we began talking
not a day flew by without me
thinking of you,
you…
You who made me giggle,
you who made me feel things
i never knew possible.
You, who made me clutch my heart
and cry myself to sleep
feeling like a teenage girl,
so out of the ordinary!
Because i had never before cried over a man,
maybe not even over you.
But i cried for you, for what we could have had.

Because at the end of the day i realised
i fell for your potential
instead of what you presented in the now.
And i find myself thinking i’m foolish, for having such deep feelings for you, falling so easily.
How could i like someone so much, whom i’ve never met before?
Maybe in my past life it was different,
you weren’t afraid to stay, liked me enough to work on yourself —
i tell myself this lie.

Now, trying to feel sane and come back to reality.
Get rid of delusions, stand up tall,
stand up for the woman who knows her worth — and no matter how much it hurts,
will choose herself over
anything.

And yet, as I walked beneath the moon,
I realised I can’t let it go. That maybe I still miss you.

I’ll keep trying to push those thoughts away,
detach while I still can.

And maybe next time
it won’t be so easy
to talk to another man.

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2026.06.25. - mirella ౨ৎ